


You're Not Alone (Together We Stand)

by TheGaySmurf



Series: Life Is the Moments We Make (The Seconds We Take) [24]
Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Imagine that, Introspection, Nicole is a Good Cop, Prompt Fill, Wynaught Brotp, Wynonna actually apologizes, Wynonna has a surprising realization, and also, and she gets to do ACTUAL COP THINGS, because i love them so much, for the shitty way she always treats Nicole, soft moments
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-03
Updated: 2019-11-03
Packaged: 2021-01-21 09:00:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21296891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGaySmurf/pseuds/TheGaySmurf
Summary: Prompt:  "Ok 3 (forehead kisses) and 28 (forehead touches or nose nudging or any soft variation on the theme) is so soft and already so wayhaught but I think I am going to request 24 (‘just really needed a hug’ sort of a hug), please."  and  "DO 13 (family) FOR THE SOFT PROMPTS PLEASE!"Set just a day or two after the end of 3x07, but before it picks up with any of the events of 3x08.
Relationships: Waverly Earp & Wynonna Earp, Waverly Earp/Nicole Haught, Wynonna Earp & Nicole Haught
Series: Life Is the Moments We Make (The Seconds We Take) [24]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/770115
Comments: 20
Kudos: 322





	You're Not Alone (Together We Stand)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [DarienPlays6688](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarienPlays6688/gifts).

> These prompts are for @darienplays6688 and another Tumblr anon. 
> 
> A stressful call brings Wynonna and Nicole closer, and Wynonna realizes a few things about herself and her family.
> 
> Just as a head's up, these scenes are not in chronological order. It starts with the current timeline, and then alternates back and forth between that and a series of flashbacks that show how they got to where they are now. It should be pretty easy to follow, but I just wanted to make you aware of that ahead of time.
> 
> Fic Title: "Keep Holding On" - Avril Lavigne

“Hey, Babygirl. I think you might need to come down here.”

_“What’s wrong? Is it Nicole? Is she hurt?”_

“No, she’s okay. She’s just, uh… really quiet and kind of spacing out. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think she was stoned. But this is Nicole _‘I have a lawbook shoved up my ass’_ Haught we’re talking about here, so…”

_“Wynonna.”_

“Yeah. Anyway. I think maybe the stuff from today just kind of got to her a little.”

_“Oh, god. The little girl. Was she…?”_

“No! No. The kid’s fine. Haught was a goddamn superhero today. But don’t you fucking dare ever tell her I said that.”

_“Where are you guys? I’m packing up now.”_

“You can meet us at the Shelterlands Forest Trailhead.”

_“Wait… _That’s _where you guys are? Fudgenuggets. No wonder Nicole is spooked. I’ll be there in like thirty minutes.”_

“Half an hour?!”

_“I’m at the library, Wynonna. Unless one of you has figured out how to teleport yet, then it will take me thirty minutes to get all the way out there.”_

“What the fuck am I supposed to do with your ginger Pop-Tart until then? I think she’s slightly burnt right now instead of lightly toasted.”

_“I don’t know, Wynonna… Maybe try _talking _to her?”_

“Come on, Waves. You know I’m fucked when it comes to all of that soft and gooey feelings bullshit.”

_“That’s not entirely true.”_

“Just… hurry. You gotta fix your girlfriend before I end up breaking her even worse.”

* * *

“You sure you’re okay, Waves?”

“I’m fine, Wynonna,” Waverly answers, shoving notebooks and tomes into her bag. “There’s nothing going on today. I’m just gonna do a deep-dive into some of this research. I’m tired of us always being two steps behind on everything.”

Wynonna understands the frustration. They’ve been behind the 8-ball on this thing from the very beginning, dating all the way back to Wyatt himself. 

But she knows there’s more to Waverly’s mood, and it has everything to do with Mama skipping town again a couple of days ago. At least she’d left a letter this time, but that had done little to quell Waverly’s heartbreak. She doesn’t think Waverly had been_ completely_ caught off guard by the disappearance – it was less _surprise,_ and more _disappointed resignation_ – but that doesn’t mean she’s hurting any less.

Wynonna wishes there was more she could do to console Waverly, but to be completely honest, she still hasn’t quite recovered from the sting of it herself. And that’s not counting the fact that she’d discovered Doc’s betrayal not five minutes after reading the warning Mama had left her.

_Welcome to the shitshow, population: **me.**_

“If you’re gonna do research all day, why are you packing everything up?” Wynonna eventually asks, worried about what Waverly might really be planning. She’s not sure she has the energy, nor the mental capacity, to save her sister from some half-cocked mission she’s concocted to prove something to herself and everyone else in this godforsaken town.

“I’m just going to the library,” Waverly snaps, rolling her eyes. “Didn’t realize I needed your permission.”

“Whoa, now,” Wynonna says, dropping her feet from the table they’ve been propped up on. “Calm your tits there, girlie. I was just wondering why you aren’t going to use the BBD office since everything is already here.”

“Sorry,” Waverly sighs heavily, her shoulders sagging as she drops into the nearest chair. “It’s just… Jeremy’s doing one of his experiments and he’s gonna be back any minute and I just don’t think I have it in me today to listen to him ramble all day.” Shame causes her head to hang low, and she picks absentmindedly at one of the pockets on her bag. “Nicole’s gonna be out on patrols all day to try and get her visibility up right before the election, so I can’t even use the desk in her office, and I just… I just want to be alone with my books for a while. My mind needs some peace and quiet,” she mumbles at the end with a half-hearted shrug.

Wynonna hesitates for a minute before finally biting the bullet and reaching out to place her hand over Waverly’s on the table between them.

“Whatever you need, Babygirl,” she says quietly, giving it a gentle squeeze. “I’m here if you need anything.”

“I know,” Waverly says, eventually meeting Wynonna’s eye, but Wynonna can tell by the tremor in her voice that she _doesn’t _know. That Mama’s selfishness has proven to be a crippling setback for Waverly, erasing the year and a half of progress that Wynonna and Nicole have been making toward helping Waverly believe they’ll never leave her.

Her baby sister may as well be at the bottom of the well that Bobo recently vacated, for all the good the past couple of months have done toward her abandonment issues.

Wynonna continues to hold Waverly’s gaze for a few more seconds, saddened by the doubt she finds there. Squeezing her hand one last time, she finally leans over the table and kisses Waverly’s forehead. She could kill Mama for what she’s done to Waverly again, and she could kill Doc for being complicit in her getaway.

She grits her teeth as she pulls back and stands from her chair.

_That’s a problem for another day._

“So, you said Tater Haught’s gonna be on patrol all day?” Wynonna asks as casually as she can.

“Yes…” Waverly looks Wynonna up and down. “Why…?”

Wynonna shrugs, playing with the fringe on her leather jacket.

“Thought maybe she’d like some company.”

_“You_ are _volunteering_ to ride around on patrol with Nicole?” Waverly hesitates, narrowing her eyes suspiciously. “What are you really up to…?”

“Nothing,” Wynonna huffs. “I’m just _bored._ The Revs are quiet. We have no new leads on Ball-Shart. You’re off to find your Fortress of Solitude, and that leaves me with Opti-mug Prime over there.”

And Waverly may be looking for some peace and quiet, but the last thing Wynonna wants right now is to be alone with her thoughts. _There’s also that._

“You know what the Fortress of Solitude is?” Waverly asks and Wynonna immediately winces. “Wow, you really _have_ been spending too much time with Jeremy.”

Waverly giggles, and despite Wynonna’s mortification, she’s glad to see the small spark of joy in her sister’s eyes, no matter how fleeting.

“Right?” Wynonna gasps, feigning disgust. “I’d much rather drive around with Haught Sauce and heckle the townsfolk than have to learn one more thing about a comic book character today.” She spins Peacemaker around her finger ominously, surprising even herself when she doesn’t fuck it up this time like she usually does.

“I doubt Nicole will let you get away with much heckling.” She watches Wynonna fumble with Peacemaker for a minute and then drops her hands to her hips. “Although…” she starts, her head cocking slightly. “Maybe a little ‘quality time’ would do you some good. Might even be better than the get-along-shirt I ought to make you two idiots wear after all of the trouble you caused the other day.”

Wynonna opens her mouth to launch some snarky retort, but Waverly holds up a hand to stop her and Wynonna’s mouth snaps shut on its own before she even realizes it.

“I’ve already heard every excuse under the sun from _both_ of you. I’m _not_ in the mood for reruns.” Wynonna grumbles and shoves Peacemaker back into her holster, but refrains from arguing. “Good. I’ll text Nicole to pick you up out front.”

With that, she finishes gathering up her things and breezes past Wynonna, pausing in the doorway only long enough to tell her to have a good time and to behave.

Wynonna stands alone in the BBD office, silently wondering when she became the child to Waverly’s _mom friend _instincts, but then she hears Jeremy’s cheerful chattering coming down the hall and she decides to hightail it before she gets cornered by another one of his science-fiction lectures.

Grabbing a donut from the box Waverly had left on the table earlier, she stuffs the entire thing in her mouth in one go and rushes out of the station.

Still brushing the litany of crumbs away from her shirt and jacket while standing on the front sidewalk, she doesn’t notice the cruiser pull up to the curb. When Nicole chirps the siren right behind her, Wynonna trips over her own feet, nearly doing a header right off the sidewalk and into the street.

She can hear Nicole’s laughter, even through the rolled-up windows of her patrol car. She flips Nicole off as she stumbles closer to the car, so Nicole proceeds to chirp the siren at her again.

“Fuck you, Haught!” Wynonna curses through her remaining mouthful of donut as she wrenches open the passenger door, drawing a smug sort of satisfaction from the appalled look on Nicole’s face when even more crumbs come flying out of her mouth to litter the front seat.

“Gross, Earp!” Nicole scolds, immediately scooping the crumbs into her hand and depositing them in the little trash compartment she keeps in her center console.

Wynonna completely ignores her, propping her feet up on the dash.

“Let’s roll, Haughtie.”

* * *

_“Maybe try _talking_ to her,” _Wynonna mocks under her breath when Waverly ends the call.

Wynonna slips her phone back in her pocket and glances over at Nicole. 

She hasn’t moved a muscle in at least five minutes, just staring blankly into the open trunk of her patrol car while the climbing harness still hangs from her hips. Wynonna may not always be the most observant person, but she’s not as oblivious as she likes to let everyone think she is. She can see the way Nicole’s entire body is trembling, the carabiners on her rigging jangling softly with the constant movement.

_“Maybe try _talking_ to her,”_ Wynonna mumbles again, kicking a rock and watching it skid off in the opposite direction. “What the fuck do _I_ know about this kind of trauma,” she grumbles as she finally takes a step in Nicole’s direction.

_A lot more than you might think._

Wynonna rolls her eyes at herself as she approaches Nicole. 

_Okay, that’s a fair point._

She hesitates briefly when Nicole doesn’t seem to notice her, then reaches out to lay a cautious hand on her shoulder. Nicole jumps and spins to face her, hand immediately falling to her sidearm, ready to draw if necessary. Wynonna stumbles back a step, eyes wide. She knew Nicole was a little zoned out, but she wasn’t expecting _that._

_“Jesus, _Wynonna,” Nicole croaks, trying to catch her breath. “I could have shot you.”

“You could have _tried,”_ Wynonna returns, patting Peacemaker at her hip with a wink, opting for an off-color attempt at humor, as she so often does in these situations. It doesn’t land, of course, and Nicole just continues to stare at her blankly. “Okay, okay. _Geez._ Sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you like that.”

“Sorry,” Nicole says, her shoulders sagging a bit. “I was just… just…” She looks back into the trunk of her cruiser, then down at the climbing gear still dangling from her waist, then back up at Wynonna with a frown. “Fuck,” she sighs. “I don’t even _know_ what I was doing. Sorry,” she mumbles again.

Wynonna wonders again how the person with the worst interpersonal skills ended up in this position.

_Dolls. Dolls was always good at calming me down when I was freaking the fuck out. What would he do to help Nicole right now?_

“Take a deep breath, Haughtstuff,” she tries, awkwardly patting her on the shoulder again. “Let’s start by getting you out of that harness.”

Nicole looks down at it again, but makes no move to start unbuckling it, her hands still hanging uselessly at her sides.

“That’s what she said… _HA!”_ Wynonna holds out her hand for a high five, proud of her joke, but still gets no reaction, even after high-fiving herself.

_Fuck. That was a _terrible_ Dolls. Focus, Earp._

“Snap out of it, Haught,” Wynonna says more firmly, reaching out to place her hands on both of Nicole’s shoulders this time, looking her square in the eye. “You were a hero today.” She immediately winces. “Dammit… You weren’t supposed to hear me say that part,” she mutters, but straightens her back and raises her chin anyway. “A goddamn hero.”

_Much better. Very Dolls-like._

“Now I _know_ I must be losing it,” Nicole finally says, the corner of her mouth twitching slightly as she shakes her head.

“Ha, ha. Very funny,” Wynonna says dryly and punches Nicole in the arm, snorting when she grabs it and whines dramatically. “Seriously, though,” she continues, gesturing back at Nicole’s gear. “Finish taking that off so we can relax for a minute, Haughtpants.”

“Yeah…” Nicole turns back toward the trunk, staring into it again for a few more seconds before finally starting to unbuckle the harness. “Yeah, I should do that.”

Wynonna leans against the back bumper, watching Nicole step out of the harness and begin to pack away the rest of her climbing gear. She nods to herself, and for the briefest of moments, she could swear she sees Dolls smiling at her from over Nicole’s shoulder. But when she blinks, he’s gone again, and all that’s left is a strange whisper on the wind.

_Proud of you, Earp._

* * *

“So this is what you do all day? Just drive around town and jiggle a bunch of door handles?” 

Nicole completely ignores Wynonna, not even taking her eyes off the road long enough to glance in her direction.

“Because I can think of some things that are a lot more fun to jiggle,” Wynonna says with a wicked smirk, leaning far enough over the console to nudge Nicole in the ribs. “We could always go and visit Pussy Willows again, like we did that one time. Maybe one of the girls could pull that rod out of your ass for you.”

Nicole’s hands tighten around the steering wheel, and Wynonna can see the muscles flexing in her jaw. She immediately wishes she could kick herself.

“Fuck. Sorry. I didn’t mean to–”

“It’s fine,” Nicole cuts her off, voice tight.

_The massacre._

The massacre that had brought the Cult of Bulshar to the forefront of their investigation.

The massacre that dredged up traumatic memories Nicole had locked away for twenty years.

The massacre that, according to Waverly, had conjured nightmares that haunted Nicole nearly every night since.

_That_ massacre.

Wynonna doesn’t even think Pussy Willows has re-opened in the two and a half months since it happened. But here she had gone and dragged it all up again, just for a cheap laugh.

_God, I’m such a fuckhead sometimes. Looks like Doc’s assholery is contagious._

Doc. 

There’s another subject she doesn’t want to touch with a ten-foot pole. She’s batting a thousand today, it would seem. Desperate for any change of subject she can come up with, Wynonna backtracks to the last relatively safe thing she said.

“So these door checks…” Wynonna mumbles, plucking nervously at a string that hangs from the frayed hole in the knee of her jeans. “You have to do the same ones over and over again?”

“It’s important work, Wynonna,” Nicole snaps defensively. 

Wynonna recognizes the look on her face as the one she makes when she’s preparing herself to be made fun of. A pang of guilt stabs at Wynonna’s gut when she realizes just how often she must badmouth Nicole and the way she does her job. It’s not fair and she knows it, but sometimes she just can’t help herself. It’s like a compulsion. 

“I know,” Wynonna agrees, still trying to smooth things over.

“You do?” Nicole obviously wasn’t expecting that kind of response. Wynonna glances up to find Nicole looking at her while they’re stopped at a stop sign, eyebrow raised as though she’s expecting there to be more to it than that.

“I mean… I _think_ I know,” Wynonna falters. She frowns as she continues to pick at the string on her jeans. “Okay, actually I _don’t_ know,” she finally admits. Nicole’s face falls, resigning herself to whatever jab is about to come next. “But you could explain it to me,” Wynonna continues. “Or whatever,” she adds at the end with a wave of her hand, still trying to play it cool like she always does.

Nicole is silent for a long moment, and Wynonna considers just climbing out of the car while it’s not moving and starting the long walk back to the station by herself. Surely she can’t fuck that up as much as she’s fucking this up right now.

“You’re really asking?” Nicole finally ventures, and the skepticism is etched deeply on her face, but Wynonna thinks she catches a glimpse of something else in her eyes.

“Nevermind,” Wynonna sighs, deflating a little. She’s not getting _anything_ right today. “You don’t have t–”

“No, it’s okay.” Nicole reaches into the center console and withdraws a metal clipboard. “I don’t mind,” she says, handing it over to Wynonna before pulling away from the stop sign and turning at the intersection.

_Excitement._ That’s what Wynonna had seen rippling beneath Nicole’s skepticism. And maybe even a little bit of hope.

_God, she really does love this job._

“What’s this?” Wynonna asks, looking over the pages of checklists on the clipboard.

“That’s our Daily Patrol Log,” Nicole explains as she continues driving to the next location on the list. “I sat down with several of the local business owners last year when Nedley first started giving me more leeway and responsibilities. We worked out a schedule of rotating patrols for their establishments to help with the new visibility directive I was writing, and also to encourage better preventative policing.”

“So you really do just… drive around and jiggle their door handles every day?” Wynonna asks after staring at Nicole for a long moment with a raised eyebrow.

“It’s more than that, Wynonna.” Nicole rolls her eyes, but continues explaining, her tone much gentler now. “Increasing our visibility in these areas helps make both the owners and the customers feel safer. We do a rotating schedule during the day shifts, which mostly just consists of driving by, or checking the locks on the back doors and storage areas – jiggling the handles, as you put it – so that we don’t interrupt their normal business. People get used to seeing us around, even in the background, and that makes it less likely for a bunch of shitheads to show up and cause trouble.”

She glances over to see if Wynonna is actually paying attention or if she’s already being ignored. To her surprise, Wynonna is still watching her intently. 

“And for the night shift, we check every business on every shift – so long as time allows; sometimes we’re too busy with active calls and have to just do spot checks when we can – but we still try to do them in different orders so that no one can pinpoint exactly when we’ll be there.” They pull into the back parking lot of the Crown Surplus, and Nicole shifts in her seat to face Wynonna. “The night checks are a little more involved. We get out and walk the perimeter. Check all of the doors and windows. Make sure the alarms are engaged. Clear out any jackholes that are drinking on the premises. Things like that.”

“And this…” Wynonna gestures first at the clipboard in her hand, and then out the window at the building they’re parked behind. “It actually works?”

“Some. It’s just…” She tilts her head to the side and Wynonna watches as she searches for the right words. “I mean, Purgatory is a dangerous place, even when these people want to bury their heads in the sand about what’s going on. And if I… If I can get them to trust us, even just a _little_ bit more than they used to, then at least they’re more likely to come to us – to _me_ – if some weird shit starts happening. You know? Like if they have someone that they think might actually _believe_ them instead of just telling them they’re crazy…”

Nicole sighs and turns to stare out the window, the sudden silence in the car covering them like a thick blanket until it’s almost smothering.

“I don’t know,” she finally says, still looking out the window. “Maybe it’s stupid. Just wishful thinking on my part.”

“It’s not,” Wynonna says immediately, reaching out to lay a hand on Nicole’s forearm. She turns back to look at Wynonna, clearly surprised by the gesture. “It’s not stupid.”

“It’s not?” Nicole doesn’t sound convinced.

“No. It’s important,” Wynonna says quietly, squeezing Nicole’s arm gently. “What you’re doing for these people. Whether they recognize it or not.”

It’s in that moment that Wynonna realizes she’s talking about herself, too, and clears her throat uncomfortably as she jerks her hand back away from Nicole’s arm.

“You came up with all of this on your own?” she asks, settling back into her seat and plucking at the string on her jeans again. She smirks to herself when she sees Nicole’s face immediately begin to flush.

_Some things never change._

“Yeah, I uh...” Nicole mumbles, rubbing at the back of her neck. “I guess I did. I ran it all by Nedley after I’d written it up, before I met with the business owners. But, umm…” She gives a dismissive half-shrug. “I guess I just wanted to help any way I could.”

Wynonna doesn’t say anything, but she does give a slight nod that causes Nicole to duck her head shyly. They sit in an awkward silence for a long moment before Wynonna hands the clipboard back to Nicole.

“So I guess we gotta g–”

_“Haught,”_ Ruthie’s voice interrupts as the radio crackles to life between them. _“Got Ranger Jett on the line for you. Sounds urgent.”_

“10-4, Ruthie,” Nicole answers after grabbing the console mic. “Go ahead and patch him through.”

_“10-4”_

There’s a short beep followed by a series of clicks before a new voice comes through, slightly staticky from the relayed connection.

_“Hello? Sheriff Haught?”_

“Hey, Robin. Not officially the Sheriff yet,” Nicole says with a slight grin, “but what’s up?”

_“It’s a little girl, Sheriff,”_ he continues, ignoring Nicole’s playful comment. _“She’s missing.”_

* * *

“I can’t, Wynonna. I’m still on shift.”

_“Technically,_ your shift ended two hours ago.” Nicole eyes her carefully, and Wynonna shrugs. “Just sayin’.” She gives the silver flask a jiggle where she’s still holding it out between them.

She had done her best to channel Dolls earlier when she’d needed to snap Nicole out of her stupor. But recognizing the haunted look in her eyes now, Wynonna decides it’s time for some good old-fashioned Earp tactics.

_Whiskey._

It’s never let her down before.

Okay, maybe it has… but who’s counting? That’s not important at the moment. What’s important is that Nicole is warring with a darkness right now, and sometimes you just need a little fire in your belly to hold it at bay for a little while longer.

_Or at least until Waverly can get here and fix things the right way._

She watches the gears turn in Nicole’s head, like she’s weighing a heavy decision, and is more than a little surprised when Nicole reaches out to take the flask from her. She raises an eyebrow, but Nicole levels a look at her that practically _dares_ her to say something about it when she raises the flask to her lips and downs several large gulps without so much as flinching.

“Well, alright then.” Wynonna takes the flask when Nicole hands it back, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. It’s more than half empty. Wynonna gives Nicole an impressed look, raising the flask in a mock toast. “Cheers, Haughtshot,” she says before downing the rest of it.

No way she’s gonna let an Earp be outdone when it comes to drinking. Especially not by Five-O. Though, to be completely fair, Wynonna has always been impressed with Nicole’s constitution. It takes a lot to get her drunk, and even then, she still continues to hold her own. She’s proven that over and over again.

Drinking whiskey that night at the station a year and a half ago, back when times were simpler. Nicole had matched her swig for swig, but the minute they’d gotten sucked into an actual case down in the morgue, she’d sobered up instantly. That’s not easy to do, and Wynonna knows it.

Just a handful of months later, covering for Wynonna while staking out Jonas by drinking for both of them just to keep the baby safe. She’d definitely gotten drunker that time around, but no so much so that she couldn’t still shoot out a fuse box from across the room with a .380 Walther PPK she’d pulled out of her sock, and that’s saying something, given their long history of questionable accuracy.

And just a couple of days ago in that Revenant bar. Nicole had been drunk off her ass by the end of that disaster, but even though she would never admit it out loud, Wynonna _knows_ that Nicole is the one that technically won that drinking contest fair and square. The Revenant had lost when he’d hurled everything back up. And Wynonna… Well, Wynonna had been cheating the entire time. And that leaves Nicole. Who matched Wynonna and the Rev drink for drink, kept _all_ of it down, and then, even though she was unsteady on her feet, she still managed to help Wynonna kick some ass in the woods.

If there’s one thing Wynonna can respect, it’s the ability to hold your liquor. And Nicole keeps proving over and over that she can match pace with an Earp. So that’s pretty solid in Wynonna’s book.

She looks back at Nicole, whose cheeks are now flushed from the healthy dose of whiskey. Tucking the empty flask back into the inside pocket of her leather jacket, she climbs up onto the trunk of Nicole’s cruiser. Nicole starts to balk, but Wynonna ignores her, patting the space beside her.

“C’mon, Haught. We got a little time before your unicorn gets here. Take a load off.”

“Waverly’s coming?” That’s the first sign of hope she’s seen in Nicole since they originally got the call from Robin.

“She’s already on her way.”

Nicole lets out a weary sigh, but climbs up next to Wynonna without protest, leaning back on her hands as her feet find purchase on the bumper. She looks up at the moon, already visible in the dimming twilight, and Wynonna can see the deep worry lines etched across her brow and at her mouth. For a fleeting moment, she looks far older than her twenty-seven years would suggest.

Wynonna knows a little bit about that. She’s twenty-eight now, but sometimes she feels like she’s already been dragged through a hundred lifetimes full of grief and guilt and loss.

“Hey, it’s okay to relax for a minute.” She reaches over and pats Nicole’s knee. “Today was a win, Nicole.” 

She’s quiet for a long moment, before whispering something so softly that Wynonna can barely make it out over the rustling leaves in the nearby trees.

“Sometimes it’s hard to tell in this town.”

_Ain’t that the goddamn truth._

* * *

“We’ve been out here for hours, Nicole. Maybe we sho–”

“We’re not giving up, Wynonna!”

Nicole stomps off through the trees, and Wynonna lets her go. 

It’s suspicious that another kid has already gone missing in the woods again, especially so soon after what they went through with the missing kids on Christmas just barely a week ago. She and Charlie had tracked them down and wiped out one of Bulshar’s evil beekeeper hives, rescuing Robin and several others in the process. Surely he hasn’t already rebuilt and started over again…

_No, something about this one feels different,_ she thinks as she watches Nicole search for tracks in the underbrush up ahead, weighed down by far more than just the pack full of gear slung over her shoulders. Her phone buzzes in her pocket before she has time to think any more about that.

**Angelpants:** Are you still with Nicole? She’s not answering her phone.

**Bacon Donut:** we’re on a call

**Angelpants:** Everything okay?

**Bacon Donut:** little girl missing in the woods

**Angelpants:** Bulshar???

**Bacon Donut:** nah peacemaker isn’t giving me any tingly feelings in my pants

**Angelpants:** WYNONNA

**Bacon Donut:** i think she just got lost

**Bacon Donut:** mom lost track of her by the playground while chasing after toddler

**Angelpants:** Is Nicole okay?

**Bacon Donut:** she’s in full sheriff mode right now

**Angelpants:** You guys need anything?

**Bacon Donut:** the whole cavalry is out here

**Bacon Donut:** i think we’re good

**Bacon Donut:** you just work on that research babygirl

**Angelpants:** Okay… But keep me posted?

**Bacon Donut:** 10-4

**Angelpants:** You really have been spending a lot of time with Nicole lately. lol

**Bacon Donut:** shut it shortstack

**Angelpants:** Be careful, okay?

**Bacon Donut:** you got it boss

Wynonna slides her phone back in her pocket and does her best to catch up to Nicole again. Nicole continues to ignore her, and Wynonna approaches cautiously.

“Hey…” She hesitates when Nicole freezes in place, but doesn’t turn around. “Charlie has the entire fire department out here, and Robin called in all of the other Park Rangers. I wasn’t suggesting that everyone give up, Haught. I was just wondering if we shouldn’t leave it to the Search & Rescue boys, since that’s what they _do.”_

_“I’m_ Search & Rescue, Wynonna!” Nicole snaps as she finally spins to face Wynonna. She points at one of the patches on the pack she’s carrying. “I got certified in it at the Academy, because I never wanted another little girl to be stuck in the woods by herself with no one to come looking for her.”

Oh.

_Oh._

Wynonna suddenly understands everything.

_That explains a lot._

She opens her mouth to say something – _anything_ – but it seems her brain has forgotten how to string two words together right now.

“It’s going to be dark soon, Wynonna,” Nicole continues, much quieter this time. Her eyes are hollow and she’s white as a ghost. Even paler than usual. “It’s going to be dark, and she’ll be out here all alone, cold and scared, and… and…” Nicole swallows hard around the lump that Wynonna can hear is stuck in her throat. “What if it had been Waverly?” she pleads, desperate for Wynonna to stay out here with her.

“Okay,” Wynonna says, finally finding her words again. She reaches out and catches the trembling hand that Nicole’s been waving around. “Okay, Nicole. We’ll keep looking for her.”

They hear the muffled calls of the other groups echoing through the forest as they continue their search. Nicole was right: the sun is beginning to set, and the beautiful colors painted across the sky bring a sharper chill in the air with them. 

They’re running out of time.

Wynonna suddenly feels an odd weightless sensation, and then her stomach is in her throat as she starts to tumble forward. Before she connects with anything, though, she’s being yanked backward by her collar, until she’s lying on her back, staring up at the trees.

One red-headed tree in particular.

“You’ve gotta watch where you’re going, Earp,” Nicole says sternly, hands on her hips as she looks down at Wynonna. “I don’t have time to be saving your ass, too.”

“Thanks, Haught,” Wynonna manages to croak. “I didn’t even se–”

“Shhhhh…” Nicole whispers harshly. “Did you hear that?”

Wynonna frowns, straining her ears in the eerie silence of the forest around them. Just as she’s about to accuse Nicole of losing her mind, she hears it, too. It’s faint, almost as though they’d imagined it, but it’s_ there._

_“Hello…? Is somebody there?”_

Nicole trembles slightly as she pulls Wynonna up from the ground.

“This is the Sheriff’s Department!” she yells, loudly enough to make Wynonna wince. “Call out if you can hear me!”

They both wait, staring at each other with wide eyes.

“HELP! WE’RE DOWN HERE! HELP, PLEASE!”

_“We?”_ they mouth in unison, still frozen in place for half a second longer.

“Don’t move! We’re on our way!” Nicole finally yells back as she turns and sprints in the direction of the voice, along the edge of the ridge that Wynonna had nearly tumbled over. 

Wynonna does her best to keep up with Nicole in the waning light, struggling to stay upright in the wake of the sure-footed Sheriff. It’s painfully obvious that Nicole is far more comfortable in this terrain than Wynonna will ever be.

They finally begin to slow their approach when they start to hear barking mixed in with the small voice. That must be the _‘we’_ the little girl was referring to.

“We’re almost there, Ashley!” Nicole calls out again as she begins looking around the new area. “Can you tell me where you are?”

“I fell,” the little girl cries in response. “I can’t move my leg!” Her answer is accompanied by another round of barks and frantic whines. “And Hugo’s down here, too,” she adds.

Nicole drops to her belly in the dirt and the leaves and creeps closer to the stony ledge. Wynonna crouches and carefully peers over Nicole’s shoulder to find a sheer rock face, wrought with stray branches and roots and moss-covered rocks sticking out at odd angles. Wynonna knows from experience now just how easy it would be to miss a step if you weren’t looking and suddenly find yourself twenty feet below with nowhere to go.

There, in a muddy patch of snow and leaves tucked away in the shadows below the ledge, they can see a puffy pink coat with a matching set of snow boots – one leg sticking out at an odd angle – and a large dog wrapped around a shivering body.

“Hi, Ashley. I’m Officer Nicole.”

“Hi, Nicole,” Ashley answers weakly.

“Don’t move,” Nicole says again, gentler this time. “I’m coming down to get you, okay?”

“Okay,” the little girl sniffles. “Hurry. I’m sca– I mean, I think _Hugo_ is scared.”

“Don’t be scared, Hugo,” Nicole says, nodding seriously at the dog. “Everything’s gonna be okay now.”

Hugo barks once – a muted sort of _woof_ – and Ashley clutches a little tighter at his fur.

“He says he’ll try to be brave.”

“That’s very good, Ashley.” Nicole pushes up onto her hands and knees. “You and Hugo just need to be brave a little longer while I get my rope ready, and then I’ll be down to get you, okay?”

“Okay…”

“You can talk to my friend Wynonna here while I’m working.” Nicole nudges Wynonna a little closer to the edge, despite the _what the fuck look_ she levels in Nicole’s direction. “Just talk to her, Wynonna,” Nicole says so that only Wynonna can hear her. “So she knows we’re still here and she’s not alone anymore.”

“Uh… hi,” Wynonna says awkwardly, sticking her head over the ledge and waving. She turns to see Nicole unpacking her gear, ratcheting one end of her rope to a nearby tree that looks sturdy enough to serve as an anchor. “I’m Wynonna…”

“Duh,” Ashley says, giggling a little in spite of herself. “Officer Nicole already said that.”

“Officer Nicole says _a lot_ of things,” Wynonna grumbles loudly, sticking her tongue out dramatically at Nicole behind her back. Ashley giggles again, and Hugo thumps his tail against the leaves. “My little sister would love that pink coat of yours,” Wynonna adds after a moment, unsure of what else to say.

“You have a little sister?”

“Uh huh. Her name is Waverly.”

“Walervy?”

“Eh… Close enough, kid,” Wynonna snorts. “She loves pink stuff and rainbows and unicorns.”

“I have a unicorn!” There’s less sniffling in Ashley’s voice now, replaced by excitement instead.

“So does my sister!” Wynonna laughs, especially when hearing Nicole groan behind her.

“His name is Sparkle!”

“His name… is _Sparkle_…” Wynonna can barely contain herself. “That’s–”

_“Wynonna,”_ Nicole hisses quietly. _“Be nice.”_

“–a _great_ name!” Wynonna finishes.

“What did your sister name her unicorn?” Ashley calls up again after a moment.

“Officer Nicole,” Wynonna giggles, and then yelps when Nicole kicks her right in the ass with her muddy boot.

“What?” Ashley asks, confused.

“Ummm… I said _Tootsie Roll!”_ Wynonna calls back a little louder this time, still trying to stifle a giggle.

“Like the candy?”

“Ye_p,”_ Wynonna answers, popping the _p_ loudly. “Just like that.”

“That’s kinda weird…” Ashley says, thinking about it for a moment. “But I like it!”

“Yeah, that’s kind of what I thought, too,” Wynonna says, glancing back over her shoulder and catching the hint of a smile on Nicole’s face, just barely hidden behind the curtain of her hair.

“Okay, Ashley,” Nicole says, stepping back up to the ledge. “I’m coming down to get you now. All I need you to do is just stay still, okay? Don’t try to move until I get there.”

“Okay,” Ashley answers, sounding nervous again.

“You need to hang on to this for me,” Nicole tells Wynonna, handing her a portion of the rope after making sure it’s secured through her climbing harness. “Getting down there shouldn’t be too difficult, but I’ll need your help when I’m climbing back up with her.”

“What?” Wynonna balks, trying to back away. “I don’t know anything about this shit. What if I fuck it up?” She can’t handle this kind of responsibility right now.

“Wynonna, focus,” Nicole says sharply, grabbing her by the shoulder. “Look.” She points over to the tree. “I’m rigged up to a pulley system. All I need you to do is keep this part tight. When I create slack from climbing, just keep pulling it tight, okay? It will keep me from falling backward if I lose my footing with her in my arms.”

Wynonna doesn’t understand how any of this climbing shit works, but she thinks she can manage at least that much.

“Okay,” she finally says, still a little unsure. “Hey, wait…” she adds when Nicole starts to back up toward the ledge. “Do you have our coordinates or whatever? I was just gonna shoot off a quick text to Charlie with our location so he can send some of the EMS boys this way.”

Nicole pulls out her phone and frowns at the missed calls and texts from Waverly.

“It’s okay,” Wynonna says quickly when she sees Nicole’s face. “I texted her a while ago to let her know we were on a call.”

“Thanks…” Nicole says softly. “I didn’t mean to ignore her. I just…”

“Had a lot on your mind?”

“Yeah,” Nicole answers sheepishly, and then clears her throat a couple of times. “Here’s the coordinates,” she says, handing Wynonna her phone with the GPS app open.

“Okay, got it,” Wynonna says after typing a few things into a text message. “Now go and save the day, Sheriff,” she says, warmly and with no hint of sarcasm, as she hands Nicole’s phone back to her.

Nicole rappels down the rock face with ease, and Wynonna watches as she pulls out the emergency med kit from her pack and places a cervical collar around Ashley’s neck to stabilize her c-spine. It’s not ideal to be moving someone like this without a full backboard, but sometimes the circumstances of these search and rescue situations don’t always provide the best conditions. At least she’d been sitting up the entire time she’d been talking to them. That has to count for something. Hopefully.

After placing a makeshift splint on Ashley’s leg, Nicole begins to prepare her for transport. She carefully works another harness up over Ashley’s legs and hips, and then secures it to her own with another short section of rope and some carabiners. Then she slips Ashley’s hands through a set of loops that almost look like handcuffs made of rope, explaining that they will help her hold on to Nicole while she’s climbing back up.

Ducking her head to put it through Ashley’s arms so they’re around her neck, Nicole scoops her up and holds her close as she moves back to the rocks and slowly begins her ascent. Wynonna is diligent in keeping the slack out of the rope, digging her heels into the soft earth to help her hold her ground. It’s much slower going, and they’re nearly out of light now, but soon enough, Nicole’s head pops up over the ledge and Wynonna kneels down to take Ashley from her and get her back on solid ground.

“Can you tell us what happened, Ashley?” Nicole asks as she takes off her jacket and drapes it around Ashley’s shoulders. Wynonna is immediately reminded of the photo she’d recently seen of a young Nicole wearing Nedley’s coat on the morning he’d found her downstream from the massacre. 

“We were playing in the park with Mama and Matthew,” Ashley starts, sniffling again. “Matthew kept tryin’a run away, and Mama had to chase after him. But then Hugo saw a squirrel and tried to catch it and we just kept runnin’ and then we were in the woods and there were so many trees and we got lost and then I fell and... and…” Anything else she wanted to say gets lost in the heaving sob that wracks her entire body.

“Shhh… It’s okay,” Nicole soothes, wrapping her arms around the little girl. She tucks her face securely into Nicole’s shoulder, and Nicole strokes her hair gently. “It’s okay. You’re safe now. You’re safe.”

“What about Hugo,” Ashley eventually hiccups, once she’s caught her breath again. “You can’t just leave him down there!”

Wynonna and Nicole peer over the ledge, watching Hugo prance and pace along the edge of the rock face, whining and searching for his human.

“Okay,” Nicole says after a brief moment of deliberation. “You stay here with Wynonna, and I’ll go and get Hugo.”

“How in the _fu–_ …the_ f–”_ Wynonna’s eyes slide over toward Ashley. “The _eff_ are you gonna do that?”

“Ummm…” Nicole thinks for a moment, looking at everything that’s spread out in front of her. “I think I have an idea.” She dumps _everything_ out of her pack, until it’s completely empty, and holds it up. She eyes it for a minute, and then shrugs at Wynonna. “Hopefully this will work…”

“Oh, my god,” Wynonna groans, resting her head in her hand. She knows _exactly_ what Nicole is going to do.

Nicole slings the empty pack back over her shoulders and starts toward the ledge again, but pauses when Ashley reaches out and takes her face in her little hands.

“Officer Nicole,” she says very seriously. “You have to be very careful with him. Mama says he’s an old man now.”

“I’ll be _very_ careful with him,” Nicole answers, her voice cracking a little. “I promise.”

Wynonna definitely doesn’t have a lump in her throat. Nope. _Absolutely not._

They begin the process all over again, and Nicole sits with Hugo for a few minutes at the bottom so that he’ll calm down and hopefully trust her enough for what needs to happen next. After a bit of coaxing and a couple of false starts, she finally manages to get the aging German shepherd into her giant backpack, with just his head sticking out so that he can watch over her shoulder. He doesn’t seem particularly pleased about this development, but he lets her secure the zipper and lock it in place so he can’t fall out on the way back up. It will have to do.

She hoists the pack back up onto her shoulders and starts climbing the wall again, Wynonna dutifully working her end of the rope. It doesn’t take quite as long as it did when Nicole was bringing Ashley up since she has the use of both arms, but Wynonna can tell she’s feeling pretty exhausted by the time she reaches the top.

Thankfully, Charlie and the boys have arrived by then, already tending to Ashley while Nicole frees Hugo from his port-a-puppy status. He barks a few times and then runs in an impressive amount of circles before finally jumping up on the back of the ATV and settling in next to Ashley, refusing to leave her side again.

They all set out back toward the trailhead where Ashley’s family is waiting for them, leaving Wynonna and Nicole standing alone in the silence of the dusk-covered woods.

“That was some Haught shit back there, _Officer Nicole,”_ Wynonna says after a few minutes. She pats Nicole on the back when she gets no response.

Nicole says nothing, merely swaying on her feet until she has to reach out and lean against one of the nearby trees for support. 

Then she promptly doubles over and vomits all over her boots.

“Okay, even_ I_ didn’t see that coming…” Wynonna says, unsure of how to react.

Nicole still doesn’t say anything, heaving three more times before she’s apparently emptied her entire stomach out into the muddy snow. When she finally stands back up, Wynonna takes her by the elbow and starts leading her back the way they came.

“Alright, Red. Let’s get you back to the land of the living.”

* * *

_“Maybe try _talking_ to her.”_

Waverly’s voice is still bouncing around in Wynonna’s head as she watches Nicole stare out into the darkness, shivering slightly despite having her jacket back after Charlie had replaced it with a proper blanket. She reaches out and places a hand on Nicole’s knee.

“I shouldn’t have called you ‘Deputy Dipshit’ the other day.” Nicole immediately stiffens beside Wynonna. That definitely touched a nerve. She curses herself and starts to change the subject, but she sees Waverly glaring at her with her arms crossed, telling her to _talk to her about it,_ so instead, she pushes on. “I was only fucking with you,” she hastens to justify, “but I still shouldn’t have gone there. It was a shitty thing to say, and you didn’t deserve it.”

“Maybe I did,” Nicole sighs, visibly deflating. “Seems like everyone has that opinion these days.”

“I don’t,” Wynonna says immediately. “Nedley doesn’t.”

“Right,” Nicole scoffs. “You drag my ass about my job every chance you get. And Bunny Loblaw…” Nicole swallows hard and looks away again.

“Bunny Nut Cheerios can choke on her pearls, for all I care,” Wynonna seethes. “And me…” Wynonna starts, a little more sheepishly. “Well, since when do you listen to a word I say, anyway?”

Nicole just raises an eyebrow at her.

“Okay, look. You know I don’t have the best track record with cops. Even Nedley, from before I came back. But you’re…” Wynonna waves her hand around awkwardly. _“…Different.”_

“Different,” Nicole repeats in a deadpan voice.

“Yes. _Different,_ okay?” Wynonna kicks her foot on the bumper of the cruiser while she tries to figure out what to say next. “Like. Even before you _knew_ everything, you still tried to look out for me and my sister. And then you took a bullet for her. And you believe me when I tell you something’s important, even if I can’t always explain it right then. And… and you didn’t just automatically assume I was crazy and needed to be locked up again.” 

That last part comes out much quieter than the rest of it. Nicole turns to fully face Wynonna and opens her mouth to respond, but Wynonna holds up a hand to stop her.

“I’m not very good at this shit, but I’m trying to say something important here. Let me get it out.” Nicole just nods silently, and Wynonna continues. “And then my sister fell for you, and that scared me. Because I thought you were just going to take her away from me. But you didn’t, and you stayed, and _she_ stayed, and… You tell me you love her, and then you told me you love me, too, and… and…” Wynonna sighs and buries her head in her hands. “Look, I’m just sayin’,” she says, popping her head back up again. “I know we made up and called a truce the other night back at the station, but I still shouldn’t have said that. You didn’t deserve it, okay?”

“Okay…” 

There’s a lot to unpack there, but Nicole is apparently willing to just let it go for now. Thankfully.

“What if I can’t do this, Wynonna?” Nicole asks instead after a few moments of silence. “What if I’m not cut out to be the Sheriff?”

“No way,” Wynonna snorts. “That’s not possible.” Nicole shrugs a little helplessly at her. “Listen, Haughtdog. Nedley has been talking about you non-stop since you started working for him a year and a half ago. That man believes in you more than he believes in Willie Nelson. And I told him a month ago – before any of this other shit started happening – that you were ready to take his place whenever he was ready to let you. That you had the kind of fight in you that this town needs right now.”

“You… you did?” Nicole seems genuinely surprised by this.

“I did,” Wynonna nods. “And I know for a fact that you heard every word I said to ol’ Bun Bun after we finished saving her ass. Naughty Haughty and your eavesdropping.” Wynonna gives an approving waggle of her eyebrows and Nicole shoves her playfully in the shoulder. “But the truth is, Nicole… You’re the best goddamn cop this town has ever seen. Nedley is a good man, and he’s done the best he can with trying to balance the protection and the cover-up for the past thirty years. But you’re… Well, like I said. You’re_ different._ You’ve got your eyes wide open going into this, and you’re everything this godforsaken town needs right now.”

Nicole stares down at her hands, suddenly very interested in the stitching on her gloves.

“I mean, look at how much of a difference you’ve already made just with something as simple as your handle-jiggling thingy. The people trust you. They’re glad to see you coming, and that’s_ important _in a town like this.”

“Maybe so…” Nicole glances back up at Wynonna. “Thanks, Earp.”

“For what?” Wynonna asks pointedly. “If you ever tell a living soul I said any of that, I’ll deny it to my grave.”

Nicole snorts and shakes her head.

“Fair enough.”

“Now, uh…” Wynonna wipes the palms of her hands nervously on her jeans. Her head is screaming at her to just leave it at that, counting this conversation as a win. But her heart remembers the way Nicole had looked in the woods, and how haunted she’d been when they’d gotten back to the parking lot of the Trailhead. She feels Waverly coaxing her to continue. “Do you, uh… want to talk about what’s _really_ bothering you?”

Nicole instantly shrinks back into herself, looking back up at the darkened sky. Wynonna could kick herself for being such a bull in the china closet, but she’s really trying here. That’s got to count for something.

“How much do you remember from that night?” she asks tentatively.

“Not a lot,” Nicole mumbles. “Just flashes. That asshole in black leather. Screams. Blood. Floating in the canoe. Freezing so badly I thought I was turning to ice.”

“That… sounds like a lot to me,” Wynonna says. “And the little girl today?”

“I knew how scared she would be. Alone. In the dark. In _these_ woods…” A tear trickles down Nicole’s cheek. “It put me right back there again.” She wipes discreetly at her face, and Wynonna chooses not to say anything about it.

“Waverly said you’ve been having nightmares about it?”

“She _told _you about that?” Nicole tries to sound mad, but Wynonna recognizes the truth in her voice: embarrassment and shame.

“She tells me a lot of things,” Wynonna says gently. “Do you… want to talk about them?”

“What would you know about it?” Nicole huffs angrily, instantly starting to throw up a wall between them. Wynonna isn’t having any of it. Not this time.

“About what, Nicole?” She cuts in firmly. “About something so traumatic from your childhood that it still haunts you twenty years later? About darkness and death that twists you up so badly you end up in the loony bin for it? About closing your eyes and seeing every person that’s ever died because you failed them etched across your eyelids until you can’t tell what’s real in the moment and what’s only a memory in a dream?”

Nicole stares at Wynonna, wide-eyed and mouth gaping open. Wynonna sits patiently, waiting for Nicole to process everything she just said.

It takes a minute.

“S-sorry…” Nicole eventually stutters. “I wasn’t thinking. I didn’t… I… S-sorry…”

“You don’t need to apologize, Nicole.” Wynonna reaches out and takes one of Nicole’s hands. “I was just trying to point out that maybe I get it a little more than you might think. If you ever… you know…” She lets go of Nicole’s hand and waves it awkwardly in the air. “…Needed someone. To talk to, I mean.”

“Waverly’s so good. She’s always there for me through the nightmares.” Nicole sighs, looking back down at her hands. “But sometimes I feel like I’m drowning in it. Like I’m going to drown both of us, and I can’t even see what it is that’s dragging me under.” She wipes at her face again, more openly this time.

“Yeah, I get that,” Wynonna admits. “Why do you think I left for so long?”

“I’m not going to leave her, Wynonna!” Nicole says sharply, sitting up straight again with her brow furrowed.

“I know,” Wynonna defends, throwing her hands up between them. “I know. That’s not what I meant. It’s… I just… You’re a lot stronger than me, Haught. I was too weak. I had to leave because I couldn’t handle it. I couldn’t handle it myself, and I sure as fuck couldn’t handle dragging Waverly down with me.”

“Am I?” Nicole asks quietly.

“Are you what?” Wynonna frowns, confused.

“Dragging her down? Would she be better off without my baggage?” Wynonna doesn’t think she’s ever seen Nicole look so _broken_ before.

“No,” she says firmly. _“God,_ no. You’re the one that’s given that girl wings, Nicole.”

“I don’t know about that,” Nicole sniffles, smiling slightly despite herself. “Seems like this Julian dude probably had more to do with that than me.”

Wynonna can’t help but snort.

“Can’t believe Mama bagged herself a fucking angel.” She barks out a laugh, but then her tone turns darker. “You deserve your angel far more than she ever did.”

This time it’s Nicole that reaches out and takes Wynonna’s hand.

“Hey.” She squeezes gently until Wynonna meets her eye. “We’ll figure this out together, okay? All of us.”

Wynonna searches Nicole’s eyes and finds nothing but genuine compassion there. She wants to say something – feels like she should – but she can’t seem to find the right words, so she just nods her acknowledgement. 

Then, as if someone else is controlling her body, she reaches out and wraps her arms around Nicole, pulling her in close. Nicole feels stiff at first, like she’s not sure what’s happening, but then she relaxes into the embrace, reaching around to close her own arms around Wynonna’s shoulders.

They stay like that for several long moments, losing track of the number of heartbeats, before Wynonna pulls back again, looking a little flustered with herself.

“What, uh… What was that for?” Nicole asks through a lopsided smile.

Wynonna shrugs as casually as she can manage.

“You just looked like you really needed a hug.”

Just then, a pair of headlights sweeps into the parking lot, eventually coming to rest on the trunk of Nicole’s squad car, lighting both of them up in the sudden brightness. The engine cuts out and they’re left with visions of a red jeep swimming behind the sunspots now floating in their eyes.

“Speak of the devil…” Wynonna says, wiping the salty tracks from her own face now. “Or _angel,_ I suppose,” she adds, nudging Nicole in her ribs with her elbow. 

They both share a laugh as they hop down from the trunk, wiping their hands on their pants and feeling all of the joints in their body crack as they stretch out their weary limbs. Waverly approaches them slowly, eyebrow raised.

“Am I interrupting something?” she asks, her tone suspicious.

_“Nope,”_ Wynonna hurries to say. “Not a thing, Babygirl. We’ve just been waiting on you.”

Waverly eyes Nicole, who just nods along innocently. 

“Riiiight…”

Before she can say anymore, Nicole has closed the distance between them, sweeping Waverly into her arms. She kisses her deeply, far more than just a quick peck on the lips, before finally pulling back to nuzzle their noses together and eventually letting her forehead rest against Waverly’s.

Wynonna would normally clear her throat or make gagging noises or harass them in some other way, but instead, this time she quietly watches. Really _watches._

Watches the way Nicole seems to draw strength from the simple fact that Waverly is near. Watches the way Waverly clutches at Nicole’s jacket, keeping her close and present in the moment and _steady._ Watches them whisper softly to each other and the way Nicole’s body instinctively relaxes at Waverly’s touch. Watches the way they both seem to be trying to protect each other at the same time.

She’d meant it before when she admitted to Nicole that she was scared when Waverly fell in love with her. Scared that Nicole would take her away. That Waverly would leave her. But as she watches them now, she doesn’t feel scared anymore. They were made for each other. They deserve each other. And there’s no way she can be jealous of that. She couldn’t ask for anyone better to be taking care of her baby sister, and for all of the blustery sarcasm she throws Nicole’s way, she’s also glad that she has someone like Waverly to take care of her, too.

There’s been a lot of reevaluating lately. About what family truly means. 

Is it just about blood? Are they destined to be bound to those who are related to them simply because they share some common DNA? All Wynonna’s blood brings is a curse of failure and leaving and death. Generations of Earps had fallen to forces outside their control. Daddy and Willa had betrayed their family. Mama had bailed… _twice._ Is that really what Wynonna wants her family to be?

And what about the family you choose for yourself? She’s not doing much better in that department, either. She had to kill Shorty with her own two hands. Dolls left her to all of this alone, even though it wasn’t the same way Mama had left. And Doc… Doc had chosen to betray her, to become the very thing they hunted, all because he couldn’t deal with a little manpain. 

She has Alice, and will _always_ love her. But god knows when the next time she’ll get to see her will be. If she ever gets to see her again at all. Just another piece of family that’s been ripped away from her.

Maybe some things just aren’t in the cards for the heir to a curse that she never asked for.

But then she looks over at Waverly and Nicole again. Remembers Waverly telling her that she loves her. Remembers Nicole telling her that she kind of loves her, too. Remembers Nicole telling her _‘I got you, Earp,’_ and actually meaning it. Remembers Waverly telling her _‘I’m here for you, now and forever,’_ and staying with her even though she could have run so many times.

Something clenches in Wynonna’s chest, and she nearly forgets how to breathe. She _does_ have a family. And it’s right here in front of her. Just the three of them against the world. Her sister, and… _her sister’s girlfriend?_ Her… _Nicole?_ Her… _best friend._ The words feel foreign in her mind. She’s never had a best friend before. Not really. But she looks back over everything she and Nicole have been through, and she thinks maybe… _maybe_ this is what that is supposed to feel like. 

Besides. Something tells her that at some point, she’ll eventually have to start calling Nicole her sister, too.

She doesn’t think that would be such a bad thing.

“You okay?” she hears Waverly asking, and she realizes that both Waverly and Nicole are staring at her with raised eyebrows.

_Fuck. Get your shit together, Earp._

“Uh, yeah…” She clears her throat a couple of times and gives her patented _thumbs up._ “All good. You guys ready to get out of here?” she asks, hoping to distract them.

_“Please,”_ Nicole answers wearily.

“Grab your bag and toss me your keys, Babygirl. I’ll drive your Jeep home so you can ride with Haughtstuff.”

“You sure?” Waverly asks, her eyes lighting up.

“Of course. Go take care of your girl,” she says, walking over to kiss the side of Waverly’s head as she takes the keys out of her hand.

“Nicole said she’s starving. We were gonna stop by Mama Lou’s.” Waverly’s voice is muffled as she digs through the cab of the Jeep for her bag and her purse. “You wanna join us before you head home?” she asks when her head pops back out again.

Wynonna glances over at Nicole, not wanting to intrude on their time together, but Nicole nods at her with a warm smile.

“Sounds good,” she admits. “I could murder a stack of pancakes.”

“We’ll follow you there,” Nicole says as she watches Waverly settle into the passenger seat of her squad car. 

Wynonna nods and turns to climb into the Jeep, but stops when she feels a hand on her arm.

“Wynonna…” Nicole’s mouth opens and closes a couple of times like a fish out of water as she tries to find the words to say. “Thanks,” she finally settles on. “I, uh… I don’t think I could have made it through today without you.”

Wynonna smiles genuinely, no trace of sarcasm or teasing. Then she shrugs like it’s the easiest thing in the world to say.

_“You’re family, Nicole.”_

**Author's Note:**

> Since I've been experimenting a little with various points of view, I decided to bite the bullet and try this entire 10k+ fic completely from inside Wynonna's head. Let me know how it turned out. :)
> 
> Thank you to everyone for reading. I am always up for questions and discussions.
> 
> You can find me on both Twitter and Tumblr: @iamthegaysmurf


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